Sometimes I think I do it to myself. I'm having a mostly good day, no major issues, feeling pretty positive. Then I do something or go somewhere and make it bad.
Today is one of those days. Had a fairly good weekend. Even got the nerve up to go and start pricing baby stuff, which in itself was a step. Didn't go out for too long, or look too hard just kinda walked through the section, looked at a stroller/car seat combo. Today I was feeling tired but fine and then I go and ruin it. I was looking for a movie to watch and instead of watching my staples I was an idiot and put on City of Angels of all movies. Yeah I totally forgot what it was about, I remembered love story and angels but I didn't remember the fact that a little girl dies in the first scene.... and almost the whole thing is in a hospital. Just what I needed. Yeah, Right! So now I'm feeling crappy, stopped the movie part of the way and came onto the computer. And instead of looking at something nice or funny I look up Meconium and possible reasons for us losing Cole and make myself feel worst.
Why do I do this to myself? I was feeling good, why couldn't I just let things be? I know there's no real answer for that, it's just crappy. So now I'm sad and depressed and my husband isn't home till Friday. I know I'll shake it, and probably within the next few hours, but still.
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