I know that's not what most people would write but what most people think. I need to really get my but in gear on making my Christmas presents for people. Mostly being I know I don't have the money to buy anything (heck my baking has been put on hold until I can spend more than 30 dollars on groceries) so this means I need to make stuff! I'm pretty sure what I am making most people, it's just to get everything done.
It's crazy to think there's only 22 more days till Christmas. I haven't even managed to drag up my Christmas tree and decorations from the basement. I'm having a little bit of size issues in my house and am trying to figure out where to put the tree in the first place.
On a completely different note, I have one ACTIVE baby in my tummy. And of course it's mainly active at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. I haven't managed being able to sleep until 1:30 or later the past 3 nights, every time I get comfortable someone likes to move and push and kick. This isn't much different than when I was pregnant with Cole except this little one's sitting MUCH lower than Cole (which I've been told is a common trait for girls vs boys) so the movement is pushing against my bladder or my pelvis, which feels weird and sore all at the same time. I'm glad the baby is moving this much though, I was getting worried when I couldn't tell what was movements and what was gas. So I decided instead of trying to sleep when they are that active at night I'll just stay up a little later and sleep when I can. Heck I'm not expecting to sleep once the baby's born so why expect it when she's growing in the belly?
So good luck to everyone who's crazy like me and trying to make Christmas gifts! I will let you know how successful I am LOL.
Dec 3, 2010
Dec 2, 2010
Sometimes...
Sometimes I am grateful for good friends,
Good food,
A supportive family
... everything positive in my life.
When you go through a bad experience, a hard time, sorrow and pain, you start to realize what truly matters in life. What is important and what is not. How some things that people thought, or you thought, or whatever, were important don't really matter. That somethings matter a lot more than hair, clothes, the next guy, whatever... they matter more than jobs, and money... they matter more than stuff. Somethings are a lot more important.
One of those things are good friends, and I have been blessed. I have, over the past few months, removed from Facebook and other means of contact people who don't matter, people who were not there in my times of pain, and sorrow. And I thank and love those who were. I am a strong believer that it takes two people to make a true friendship. That it can't be only one person, or one side, that makes the friendship! That both people have to work through it from their ends and meet in the middle.
So thank you to all my friends... and thank you for dealing with my mushy post... and I hope you all find happiness in whatever form it may come to you!
Good food,
A supportive family
... everything positive in my life.
When you go through a bad experience, a hard time, sorrow and pain, you start to realize what truly matters in life. What is important and what is not. How some things that people thought, or you thought, or whatever, were important don't really matter. That somethings matter a lot more than hair, clothes, the next guy, whatever... they matter more than jobs, and money... they matter more than stuff. Somethings are a lot more important.
One of those things are good friends, and I have been blessed. I have, over the past few months, removed from Facebook and other means of contact people who don't matter, people who were not there in my times of pain, and sorrow. And I thank and love those who were. I am a strong believer that it takes two people to make a true friendship. That it can't be only one person, or one side, that makes the friendship! That both people have to work through it from their ends and meet in the middle.
So thank you to all my friends... and thank you for dealing with my mushy post... and I hope you all find happiness in whatever form it may come to you!
Dec 1, 2010
So it's a...
Girl... at least 90% as the doctor said... Woot! I'm excited and now dealing with the emotional turmoil of the fact that Polar Bear already had a girl with his ex (not that we get to see her) and I failed on the boy front. I know I'm totally pathetic and creating issues. He said he's happy either way, I believe him (mostly) but I still feel responsible for the loss of our boy. I know I shouldn't, that I didn't have anything to do with the outcome, but I can't help it.
So now starts the "discussion" about names! Boy's names we have No Problem agreeing on, we both like boy's names that sound masculine. But girl's names are another cup of tea. He like's girly girl names... I don't... I like Parker... or Sam.... or something like that... he likes Isabelle, and other pretty names. We'll see how the discussion over the next 4 months (we're hoping here) goes and what we decide in the end. Knowing us, we'll pick a name and completely change our mind when the baby's born.
The doctor said everything looks good, next appointment is in 4 weeks... the 29th of Dec. I asked him about my increasing worries as the 29 week point gets closer and he said that he'll get us set up for another ultrasound at the next appointment. That means an ultrasound around 26ish weeks (about 2 weeks after the next apt) to check cervix length again, and just make sure every thing's good. So we'll see if I'll have a crazy amount of apts this time or not. He doesn't think I'll need them, but you never know.
So... for now everything's good, babies good, everyone's looking healthy... yay! Keep this positivity coming!
So now starts the "discussion" about names! Boy's names we have No Problem agreeing on, we both like boy's names that sound masculine. But girl's names are another cup of tea. He like's girly girl names... I don't... I like Parker... or Sam.... or something like that... he likes Isabelle, and other pretty names. We'll see how the discussion over the next 4 months (we're hoping here) goes and what we decide in the end. Knowing us, we'll pick a name and completely change our mind when the baby's born.
The doctor said everything looks good, next appointment is in 4 weeks... the 29th of Dec. I asked him about my increasing worries as the 29 week point gets closer and he said that he'll get us set up for another ultrasound at the next appointment. That means an ultrasound around 26ish weeks (about 2 weeks after the next apt) to check cervix length again, and just make sure every thing's good. So we'll see if I'll have a crazy amount of apts this time or not. He doesn't think I'll need them, but you never know.
So... for now everything's good, babies good, everyone's looking healthy... yay! Keep this positivity coming!
Nov 30, 2010
1 down...
Well today was the ultrasound. Other than the feeling of EXPLODING BLADDER (and those of you who've had one would understand) it went fairly well. The nurses (or whatever they are) won't tell you anything other than you look to be around the right due date (or not) and maybe show you a heart beat.
So I'm OK on due date still... we are still aiming for April 20th. The heart beat is right where it should be, and we got to see his/her little tongue and mouth making little sucking motions. At least the ultrasound puts to rest any concerns about whether the babies moving enough and stuff. So... in that way... everything is good.
Tomorrow we have our monthly doctor's apt. We are hoping that he'll have the results then for Sex... if not I'll probably have to call the office later on in the week or something. I was so nervous today before the ultrasound I had a hard time eating even... which is impressive for a pregnant woman.
Well, I'll let you know how tomorrow goes... here goes nothing :)
So I'm OK on due date still... we are still aiming for April 20th. The heart beat is right where it should be, and we got to see his/her little tongue and mouth making little sucking motions. At least the ultrasound puts to rest any concerns about whether the babies moving enough and stuff. So... in that way... everything is good.
Tomorrow we have our monthly doctor's apt. We are hoping that he'll have the results then for Sex... if not I'll probably have to call the office later on in the week or something. I was so nervous today before the ultrasound I had a hard time eating even... which is impressive for a pregnant woman.
Well, I'll let you know how tomorrow goes... here goes nothing :)
Nov 29, 2010
An Ultrasound
So it has come to that time again. 20 weeks Wednesday, and tomorrow we get to do the full ultrasound. Woot! I am excited and scared all at the same time, which in my head doesn't make sense but in my body is totally true. Going into the week I found out sad news about a friend having a miscarriage. I feel for her loss, and hope the best for her, whatever that may be.
I have become jaded.
I have become negative in the "joys of pregnancy".
I know I probably have a right to, but it's unfair to be feeling this way. I should be excited. I should be wanting to look at baby names, and baby stuff and everything. Instead I pray each night to the gods in general for a Happy, Healthy, Safe, Strong, Secure baby and pregnancy. I ask to be able to take this baby home, to be able to hold it after labour, to be able to watch it grow up! These are all things with my last pregnancy I never specified. I am being specific! Maybe that's all I need to do but I doubt it. It always seems that once I get the mechanism running something always breaks down... or maybe that's just my negativity.
I still haven't told the general populous... as in Facebook friends and other friends. If I haven't seen them in person I haven't told them (unless they are part of my closer group or family, where my parents may have told people). I know it might be weird to not want to share but it's so nerve racking to have too. Besides I dread havening to tell people of a loss... I know I should be positive, and shouldn't think that way, but I can't help it! I'm 20 weeks Wednesday... I just want this pregnancy to go amazingly! I want to last till full term. Cole was born at 29and a half weeks... so I need to last 36... that's my goal... that's safe. It's funny to think that 29 weeks is only 9 weeks away, a little over 2 months.... we want to be pregnant for 4 and I mean it FOUR more months... then we'll be to term. I hope!
No matter what is going on around me. No matter what drama is the current issue that's being faced by friends or family members. I just have a hard time caring. I try to care, I try to listen, and I try to sympathize, but it's really hard some days... Some days I need to scream to the world, "That's great but I would take that issue in a heart beat!" or "I'm having a really rough time here, can you worry about ME for a second!?!". An ultrasound should be happy... it should be an exciting time... and a little part of me is excited, and trying really hard to be excited. But I've now known so many who have gone to that ultrasound and got bad news that I'm scared. I'd say I'm a little scared, but I'm not... I'm a lot scared.
I will let you know how tomorrow goes... here's hoping for the best. Polar Bear and I are having a bet on whether it's a girl or a boy, and we are going to find out tomorrow (hopefully)... I'll let you know if I'm getting breakfast in bed! LOL :)
I have become jaded.
I have become negative in the "joys of pregnancy".
I know I probably have a right to, but it's unfair to be feeling this way. I should be excited. I should be wanting to look at baby names, and baby stuff and everything. Instead I pray each night to the gods in general for a Happy, Healthy, Safe, Strong, Secure baby and pregnancy. I ask to be able to take this baby home, to be able to hold it after labour, to be able to watch it grow up! These are all things with my last pregnancy I never specified. I am being specific! Maybe that's all I need to do but I doubt it. It always seems that once I get the mechanism running something always breaks down... or maybe that's just my negativity.
I still haven't told the general populous... as in Facebook friends and other friends. If I haven't seen them in person I haven't told them (unless they are part of my closer group or family, where my parents may have told people). I know it might be weird to not want to share but it's so nerve racking to have too. Besides I dread havening to tell people of a loss... I know I should be positive, and shouldn't think that way, but I can't help it! I'm 20 weeks Wednesday... I just want this pregnancy to go amazingly! I want to last till full term. Cole was born at 29and a half weeks... so I need to last 36... that's my goal... that's safe. It's funny to think that 29 weeks is only 9 weeks away, a little over 2 months.... we want to be pregnant for 4 and I mean it FOUR more months... then we'll be to term. I hope!
No matter what is going on around me. No matter what drama is the current issue that's being faced by friends or family members. I just have a hard time caring. I try to care, I try to listen, and I try to sympathize, but it's really hard some days... Some days I need to scream to the world, "That's great but I would take that issue in a heart beat!" or "I'm having a really rough time here, can you worry about ME for a second!?!". An ultrasound should be happy... it should be an exciting time... and a little part of me is excited, and trying really hard to be excited. But I've now known so many who have gone to that ultrasound and got bad news that I'm scared. I'd say I'm a little scared, but I'm not... I'm a lot scared.
I will let you know how tomorrow goes... here's hoping for the best. Polar Bear and I are having a bet on whether it's a girl or a boy, and we are going to find out tomorrow (hopefully)... I'll let you know if I'm getting breakfast in bed! LOL :)
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