Official Diagnosis....

So it's official... I have Cholestasis of Pregnancy...

Oky I know it's just a term and you probably have no idea what it means. Well you could do like I did and read up on it on the internet... make sure you read a few sites if you do. Diagnosis and method of treatment have changed, as well as medications, quite a bit within 10 years. So I'm just to believe my doctor and trust him with this whole thing. In lame man's terms it's a liver issue where there is too much bile flowing into your blood stream... sounds weird I know.... what that means? Well I'm itchy from head to toe and will have to do a barrage of tests and appointments until delivery.

What my doctor said is that at the moment I have a very mild case of it. So we just need to keep a close eye on it. We will be having ultrasounds every week or 2, stress tests for baby almost every week or more if I'm nervous, and blood work every week.... WOOT... this is on top of my weekly appointment with the doctor. Also it means that I will definitely be induced by 38 weeks.... (I am 31W3D today so in apx 6 weeks at max). If for any reason they get concerned about any of the tests, or my levels go up, or anything of worry, then the doctor will induce earlier. Inductions are usually done between 35 and 38 weeks no matter what. This is due to the increase of still birth and fetal distress later in pregnancy. So we will be closely monitored for the next 6 or so weeks and hopefully this will mean we will have a happy result in the end.

How do I feel about this???? Stressed, frustrated, sad and upset... as well as relieved to have a diagnosis, and glad that the doctor's are taking this seriously.

Well just wanted to let you know the results... I'll keep you updated as the tests start. :)

Why?

Why can't things ever go easy?

Why can't we just have a year or two of good positive things in our lives?

Why is money always so important?

GAH!

I feel useless... I know it's stupid of me to say this, but I do. I sit at home all day either watching movies or playing on the internet. Yes I try and do some housework but I really try hard not to wear myself out, which happens quite often. We are really really tight on money, nervous about awaited doctor results and scared about the next few months and what it will bring us.

My husband's depressed cause he's never been this broke. I have but I don't like it. We know that in time it will be fine, we just need to get into the season where his job picks up. It's just so frustrating to be broke, and know that the baby can come at any time in the next 2 months and then worry about having everything we need. Being we aren't planning on getting anything till the baby's here, we're nervous about having enough money to actually buy the stuff we need when we need it.

I hate waiting, I am not a patient person.

I know this self pity is not helpful and I'll shake it in time. It might just be the day... 1 year ago today we knew things were going bad... 1 year ago tomorrow we were able to move Cole, hold Cole and introduce him to the family... 1 year ago Saturday we lost him, we cried and drank and cried some more. We were numb.

I think I have seasonal issues and now I'm here, with no job and no money. No way to help in any way. Pregnant and going through a barrage of tests to see if something's wrong with me. And if it is then I know I'll hit a guilt cycle that it was my fault that we lost Cole. That if we would have got testing earlier for the itchiness that time we would have realized something...

I know I shouldn't do this. Shouldn't think about the things that may have been different. But I can't help it! I'm sad, nervous and scared.

2 Months to full term, here's hoping!

31 Weeks... Meds... and Sleep

So we are now 31 weeks today. WOOHOO!! One more week and we've reached our first goal of 32 weeks which is 8 months which is when the doctor said it's safe... !!!!! WOOT!

Now the itching hasn't gone away... pooy! Got some of the blood work back on Monday and the doctor said that some of the liver tests were a little high, but he's not quite sure what to do about it yet. So I still won't get the one test back till tomorrow or Friday (I'm expecting Friday) and being they were a little high he asked me to go get more blood work done today (Wed) to see where the numbers are going. So they usually have the no news is good news concept, so I'm hoping that everything will get better but if there's anything I should hear back from most of it by Friday. I've been given Benadryl to take during the day to alleviate the itching, it hasn't stopped completely, just took a bit of the edge off, but night time was bad so when I talked to the Doctor again on Monday he's now prescribed Apo-Hydroxyzine, which is an anti-histamine that will make me sleepy. I'm only to take one at night before I go to bed to help with the itching and let me sleep more than the 2 hours I was sleeping. So far it's worked ok, Monday I slept from 11ish till 4am (got up to pee :P ) then went back to bed till almost 10am... so I consider that a success. Last night I took it around 9 and slept till 2, and got up a few times to pee, baby was kicking in a weird spot so I had more problems sleeping. Got up at 5am to take Polar Bear to Fergus for work and went and got blood work done, and went back to bed around 8am till noon-ish (of course waking up a few times to pee and such. So I think it's working mostly. I'm still itchy and my skin feels irritated but it's not driving me crazy at the moment and I thank the meds for that.

So now we wait till Friday and see if there's anything new in the blood work. I'll keep you posted!

ITCHING!!!

GAH!

So we went to doctors on Friday and talked about the INCESSANT ITCHING that I've started to have again. He sent us for blood work (which will take up to a week to get results back from) and gave me Benadryl to try. It's either something minor, which is pretty much me being allergic to myself, or a little more serious to do with liver things. Well I've been taking the Benadryl... yesterday and today... and it hasn't really helped. It kinda takes the edge off the itching during the day but at night I'm either not sleeping or waking myself up scratching my legs/feet/back/hand/everything cause I've made myself raw.

This is not cool! This is not fun!! This is FRUSTRATING BEYOND BELIEF!! It's funny that I just saw him yesterday and it feel like so long ago. I will be calling him on Monday to see if there's anything else I can take, he told me to call if it was getting worst, so that's what I'm going to do. I'll call Monday and see if there's something else I can take or if I need to come in and get another prescription.  (which kinda sucks 'cause I know it'll probably cost a bit!)

So at the moment all I'll say is GAH!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!OSOIEURIEUROI#J$#(&$*(&T(W&!!!! (if you know what I mean) Hopefully when I write next I'll still have my legs and feet attached to my body and not removed by me SCRATCHING THEM OFF!!!!

I'll keep you posted!!