As the holiday's are upon us all I can say is I don't truly understand some people. There have been a few cases (from the support sites I'm on) where family members of grieving moms and dads are trying in some ways to be considerate and end up being so inconsiderate to the feelings of the family. One case that truly upset me was of lady on my site's mom giving her a Christmas ornament with her name, her husband's name and the name of the dog on it. She didn't bother putting the name of the lost baby on it, or even asking before she gave them an ornament if they would like that. The fact that this mother thought she was sparring her daughter's feelings by ignoring the loss and not adding the name of her lost child could be understandable. But it's not right.
I will tell you all. If you know someone who has lost ANYONE... a husband, a child, a parent, etc, don't act like that person never existed in the world. Even if the baby wasn't with the family long, or at all, that baby still meant a lot to who the family is. If you are uncomfortable with asking the family if they want the baby included or unsure about the proper etiquette then either don't give the family a personalized item with everyone in the family's name on it, or give them an item and let them know that you didn't want to upset them and so left it blank so they could personalize it how they see fit.
Holiday seasons are never easy for those who have lost babies... all you see are happy families with children everywhere. They're in the mall, the grocery stores, everywhere. Most of the time it's not so bad but some days are always worst than others. Try to be considerate, and maybe if you ever have a bad point in your life, a loss of some sort that is very close to you, then they will be considerate and think of you too.
My heart goes out to all those who have lost and the families and friends who may not understand what is going on in their lives, hearts and head at the moment.
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