Back to the grind

We are back to the grind stone... woot... and I still haven't managed to finish all my christmas gifts. LOL. I know I'm a little late but I should have them all done before New Years so I can give them to people.

I'm just feeling mostly off today. I don't really know why, I think it's just one of those days where no matter what you do you can't seem to shake the feeling.

I think I'm going to give up checking the NILMDTS forums for a little while. I'm just getting too depressed with the people on there. I know I was one of them, but I think that a site like that is for those who need to vent their grief, and although I need to vent I don't feel like the site's actually helping at the moment. I'll probably check up on it every few days  but I don't think I'll go on everyday for a bit. It's hard when most of the women on there lost their little one's to still birth, miscarriage or to complications that they had warning about. I sometimes feel that I'm such a rare case on how our events took place that it's hard to relate to others. I know that they all mean well, heck I know everyone in my life means well, but I just can't shake the fear, worry and depression that I can feel nagging at me from the edges. I think it would be best if I stopped looking at that site. It'll just give me some time to not think about all the other problem's I could face in the last few months. If I don't have to read about them then maybe I'll be able to try and focus on the good stuff instead. Or at least not drone on their grief. We'll see if that works.

So maybe I'll go to a movie tonight, maybe that'll shake this feeling today.